tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31642908411140844262024-03-13T13:07:18.191-07:00Our JourneyKristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-2319982569671758242013-04-18T14:27:00.000-07:002013-04-18T14:27:20.884-07:00One short year... One amazing boy!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Cohen,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Well, time has certainly slipped away from me. As I sit down to write this entry we are only days away from your first birthday. This is a very emotional and bittersweet entry for me. I'm so proud of the independence you've gained, but am quickly realizing you are growing so quickly before my eyes, and becoming less and less of a baby. It's hard for me to sum up this first year together. It has been the most rewarding, fun, and amazing years of my life. You have brought so much joy, fulfillment, and pure love to this life, and I honestly cannot imagine a day without you in it. You have brought endless amounts of smiles and laughter, tons of happy tears, and a sense of completion to my heart that I cannot put into words. I am so proud to be your mommy. It is an absolute honor, and one of the sweetest journeys of my life to watch you grow, adapt and learn. You amaze me each and every day!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now, not to say every day has been easy... this year has also been the most challenging, and tiresome years I have ever experienced. There have been many sleepless nights, a fair share of frustrating moments, and constant worrying, researching and questioning my decisions as a parent. It's a crazy journey becoming a parent. YOU are my main priority now, your happiness and well being have become more important than my own. A new sense of selflessness, and self discovery has been blanketed over me as a mother. You know it's a funny thing, before you were born I thought "Ah, I got this whole parenting thing." Especially working as a preschool teacher, I knew kids, in and out, up and down... but being a parent is a whole new ballgame. When you are sad, or hurt my heart aches for you. When you are happy, I am beyond happy. When you make a new discovery, or master a new milestone I feel the greatest sense of accomplishment (for us both). The emotional connection, and love I feel for you is simply indescribable. Although I am trying to teach you the ways of the world, you are teaching me far more than I ever imagined you could. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have grown and changed so much in these past 12 months... time truly does fly by when you are having fun (or maybe it's the fogginess from lack of sleep), either way it's crazy. Just the other day you took your first few steps, and are quickly gaining your confidence to start walking. YIKES! I know I am in for it once you really start going. You are into EVERYTHING, and are definitely keeping daddy and I on our toes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are such a strong willed, independent, and determined little guy. You watch older children play and study their movement and abilities. I can see your little wheels spinning, soaking it in and figuring out how you too can do what they are doing. You love music. Anything musical, whether it's daddy playing guitar, the radio blaring, a commercial on TV, or someone singing in the other room. You stop what you are doing and bob your head, and shake to the beat. In fact, just the other day in the car you woke up from a dead sleep and started rocking out to the song playing on the car stereo. Pretty cute! Daddy and I think you are destined to be musical! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's not just music that has captured you though. You seem to love baseball! You've already watched several San Fransisco Giants games, and intensely studied the players. At this very moment your favorite word is "ball". You repeat it over and over again at the sight of any round circular object! Today, outside Target you spotted the big red balls out front and excitedly yelled "ball! ball!". Although to some these little details may seem so insufficient and unimportant, to me they mean a whole lot!! You are taking in this great big world, and making amazing connections and discoveries. As a mother, nothing makes me more proud!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are quite the eater, let me tell you. There is not much you don't like (most of the time). Its pretty cute to watch you chew using those 4 front teeth, and exclaim "Yummmmm" after each bite. Your ability to communicate is becoming more and more apparent, although you still do a lot of screaming to get what you want. I think I can safely say daddy and I will be so much happier once you gain a few more words and can use those instead of those powerful set of lungs you have been given.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In these past few weeks you have become quite the daddy's boy. When he walks in from work at the end of each day you speedily crawl to him and climb up his leg for a hug, and some much needed daddy time. Nothing warms my heart more. Seeing you two, and knowing you are "mine" is one of the greatest blessings I have ever known. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have accomplished so much in this first year, and have filled my heart with enough memories to last a lifetime. I am so excited to continue to watch you grow, explore, challenge yourself and reach your goals. I will always support you, stand behind you, and fight for your best interest. As a mother, my hopes for you grow stronger each day. I dream that you'll be a kind, gentle boy to those around you, that you will love with all your heart, always try your hardest, keep your promises, tell the truth, follow what makes you happy, and to always dream without limits. Mostly I hope you always trust and know that you are smart, you are capable, and you are so loved. Never ever will a day pass that I am not grateful for you, and for this beautiful gift I have; to be your mommy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So, as I end this letter to you I want to wish you the happiest 1st birthday, and thank you for all the moments that have summed up the past 365 days. To quote Piglet from Winnie the Pooh; "Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart". Nothing rings more true to me. I love you Cohen Rigsby, and I always will.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy Birthday sweet boy,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mom</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Being ONE is so much FUN!</span></strong><br />
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Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-10924033823619898012012-10-30T11:09:00.000-07:002012-10-30T11:09:05.379-07:00A half birthday...<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sweet boy,</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOKbbIW_kS_6K2dqQX2RmfwnYft5tqpGIvViTBYwBVIgHFwY4owYeJ7cJ5JY_-rxLv6P4cD80adkJ58jyvrFoDuYBP_MIIUwL3-qmVIyilUx0iIQsPHYD1Saq8fY-8RGH0VLbasOQk2Y-4/s1600/IMG_2536.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Today is your "half birthday", 6 months old!?!!? Already? You are changing so much. Every day. Every stage we've gone through has been fun, and new... but now it not only is fun and new... it's rewarding!!! You smile back at us, giggle at "peek a boo" and tummy rasberries, engage with toys and games, and hug and snuggle into daddy and I. These truly are the moments. A few weeks ago I asked daddy if he thought being a parent is harder or easier than he expected. He said <em>it's harder, the screaming, and the sleep depravation... that part... but the smiles I get make it all worth it. </em>I couldn't agree more. I love how you smile and look at daddy and I. In those moments I know you love us just as much as we love you. It is the best feeling.<em> </em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Happy Boy!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You have certainly found your voice... oh boy! Lots and lots of screaming is happening in this home. You are so proud of yourself. You scream between bites at meal time, when you are excited, tired and cranky, when there is toy just out of you reach, and a lot of the times just because you can.... I guess you like the sound of your own voice. In fact a week ago you screamed and yelled so much you nearly lost your voice for a day or two. Silly baby.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You still love to be outside best. You love to see what's going on. It's funny, people always comment on how <em>aware </em>you are when we are out. You don't miss a beat, you're always looking around, watching what is going on around you. You have taken a strong fascination to kids. Always watching what they are doing... it's pretty cute to watch you. We've done lots of fun things like; visiting the aquarium, going to music classes, walks all over the place, and a visit to the pumpkin patch. Tomorrow will be your 1st halloween. I have a cute little giraffe costume for you to wear... if it fits! (You are quickly growing out of everything!!).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Pumpkin Patch with Liz, Kristen & Payton </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> My little Pumpkin</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Aquarium day with Hannah</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are sitting up all on your own, and again, are very proud of your new skills. We are so proud of you too. I know I have said it, but it is so much fun watching you grow, learn and absorb the world. Just like everyone always says... you truly are a little sponge. Sometimes you just watch daddy and I talk, or do things around the house and we can tell your little wheels are turning. You are defintely trying to figure it all out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We tried out the walker (thinking you might not "get it" yet), but we were wrong. You love it! You get going pretty quick, but because our house is so small you pretty much just run into cabinets and bounce off chairs. You try to chase Shelby, and watch her from the kitchen door. You have grown quite fond of Shelby (our black lab). You get the biggest smile when she's in sight, and sometimes even let out a laugh. Shelby loves you too... she gives you doggy kisses (mostly because she smells left over avocado and banana on your face).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Daddy can always get you laughing!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiChiPCDPL_Y0YxOvXFIC2VxM-F1qVx-O1Ax9fy6Fkg3fJ8N1So8byWif6cMA71urAAhaA-RMtMltgzVCl6t0cnPS2sDPKiV4JA_fImSb_FLXEQtOkoR63STXqJXGCHJBl_VcQFinu1skLX/s1600/IMG_2525.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="213" qea="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiChiPCDPL_Y0YxOvXFIC2VxM-F1qVx-O1Ax9fy6Fkg3fJ8N1So8byWif6cMA71urAAhaA-RMtMltgzVCl6t0cnPS2sDPKiV4JA_fImSb_FLXEQtOkoR63STXqJXGCHJBl_VcQFinu1skLX/s320/IMG_2525.JPG" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Every day since we brought you home has brought more love, and happiness into this family than I could ever explain. We all learn something new everyday. You are teaching us, just as much as we are trying to teach you. I've loved every moment from the tiny newborn snuggles, to the 6 month old big boy screams. Right now, in this very moment I feel so blessed. Although being a parent isn't always easy or glamorous, and on days I find myself day dreaming of a full nights sleep I would not trade this for ANYTHING! I love you Cohen!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Mommy & Daddy love you!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To all of YOU,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I feel like writing this blog has helped me in so many ways. I've connected with a lot of people who have gone through a similiar journey as Chris and I, some still on their journey to becoming parents,and some who are just starting out. For that I am so grateful. Talking with others who are in the same place as you really helps! I've had several people tell me how reading my entries helped them cope with the emotions of infertility, and the struggle & heartache that comes with it. Nothing warms my heart, more than that. I remember when the thought first crossed my mind to write this blog, especially the first entry... I was scared and nervous. I am so glad I did though. Once I embraced what we were going through, and got it off my chest I felt freed. Today, I couldn't be happier, and although it really sucked at times I would do it all again to have Cohen. He is absolutely worth every bit of that wait! I want to thank you all for reading this, for following our story, and for loving us through it. To those of you still trying... don't give up!! Don't lose faith!! The reward is so much sweeter than the pain.</span></div>
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Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-76634335530193573952012-09-05T13:26:00.000-07:002012-09-05T13:26:02.729-07:00Milestone Mania<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Cohen,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Four months have come and gone. That was quick! It is so crazy how much you've changed and grown. You are so much fun; smiling, laughing, rolling over, talking (well yelling!!), eating, laughing... it is all so much fun. It seems like it's something new everyday. You have quickly outgrown many of your clothes, and are fitting into 6 month stuff!! (You are definitely a healthy boy). You weigh somewhere around 15-16 pounds now. It's crazy to think you were such a peanut when you were born.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sleepy boy! I love how you sleep, completely sprawled out (just like daddy).</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As long as you are outside, you are happy!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Smiles for mama!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You love your hippo from cousin Porter!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mmm... your first taste of avocado.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You also outgrew your bassinet, so mommy & daddy got you a co-sleeper which is right up against our bed... you don't seem to like it much though. You are most content in our bed, or our arms, and although I often wake up with a stiff neck, and cramped body I love the snuggle time with you. These are moments I would not trade for the world. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy baby!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are on the move! Rolling over all the time, trying to push off your legs and crawl, even making walking motions when we hold you up right. We got a Johnny jump up, which you LOVE! The first time we put you in it was at Grandma and Papa's, you spun around, walked and explored, and smiled from ear to ear... and then, passed out! I guess all that moving really wore you out!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We started feeding you "real food", boy do you love it!! Your first taste of something other than mommy's magic milk was avocado. It was so funny, you literally said "Mmmm" after each bite, and could not get enough. We've also tried banana (which seems to be your favorite), oatmeal, and sweet potato. You are a good eater, daddy says "That's my boy!" (He's really proud!!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are such a joy, Cohen! A few weeks ago was the anniversary of the date I found out I was pregnant with you... I was emotional just thinking back to that day. I could so clearly remember the feelings of shock, excitment and nervousness I felt. It brought tears to my eyes to look at you now and relive those feelings... you are so worth the wait! You bring a sense of completeness, and happiness to our lives that cannot be explained. Daddy and I feel so lucky, and so happy. I often find myself just staring at you, marveling at the fact that you are here, that you are ours, and how much you have completely filled our hearts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I love you to the moon and back (and that's still not enough). Forever and ever.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">xoxo,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mama & Cohen</span></td></tr>
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Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-47195857467016787642012-06-26T17:30:00.001-07:002012-06-26T17:30:04.397-07:002 monthsSweet Cohen,<br />
It's hard to believe that you have been here for 2 months. You have changed and grown so much already. You have filled out, grown longer and you've outgrown your newborn clothes... you even fit in 3 mo. stuff. My tiny little peanut, isn't so tiny anymore. When we went in for your 1 month check up Dr. Ariola was so happy to see you. She called you a rockstar baby. When you were born you were so small, you ranked in the 10% in weight, and 25% in height... you are now in the 75%, and 50%. You weighed 10 lbs. 4 oz! I'm sure you are even bigger now... we'll see in a week. You have started making a lot more noises; "cooing" and "oogling" over things. You seem to smile and "talk" right when you wake up, (and get a fresh diaper!)... happy boy! Your smiles have completely captured daddy and I! (Shh, don't tell... but mommy cried the first time you smiled at me). <br />
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The past 2 months have been filled with lots of first, tons of laughs, and more love than could be imagined.<br />
You had your first fathers day with daddy. We went up to grandma and Papa Cranes. You got to spend the daddy with your dad, both grandpa's, and your great-grandpa Richard. It was a pretty special day. We've gone for walks, shopping trips, cabin days, and you even went to your first Giants ballgame (which you slept right through!). You love being outside! You get a big smile whenever we are out. You also love your bath time. I think it's mostly the being naked part. We have learned this is a very dangerous time. You have managed to pee all over yourself a few times, all over the furniture a few times, and all over mommy a few times (and you even got auntie Kerry the other day!). One night you got mommy and daddy (several times in the same diaper change!). All we could do was laugh.<br />
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I am having so much fun being your mommy. You amaze me everyday! You are becoming a little person, making connections to this world, and with the people who love you. It's the most rewarding, and fun thing I've ever done... watch you grow and change! Every day, you give me something to smile and giggle about. I am embracing, and enjoying every minute with you... I see now, how quickly you are growing and changing. I look forward to so many more firsts with you, and to continue to watch you grow.<br />
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I love you, sweet boy.<br />
xox,<br />
Mommy<br />
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Fisrt Father's day together!</div>
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Papa Bruce's first diaper change!</div>
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Here you are. Lounging on Uncle John!</div>
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Your great grandpa, Richard.</div>
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Just over a month old here... so cute!</div>
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2 months old and smiling like crazy!</div>
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All decked out for your first Giants game!!</div>
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watching daddy play softball.</div>
<br />Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-2768166829374200812012-06-04T10:35:00.002-07:002012-06-04T10:35:53.080-07:00The first monthDear Cohen,<br />
It's hard to believe you've been here a month already! You have changed so much already, it's crazy. We've experienced a lot of your "firsts" so far... Your first bath (which you loved), first shower, first pee pee on mommy experience, first mother's day, first trip (Tahoe, for Auntie Kerry's bachelorette) new smiles, coo's, expressions and movements. It has been so much fun getting to know you, little guy. Daddy and I are still in awe of you (I'm not sure that'll ever change). You are such a beautiful, amazing little baby boy.<br />
Last weekend we went to Tahoe to celebrate Auntie Kerry's "final fling before the ring." Mommy was nervous for the long car ride, and how you'd do overall on the trip. You were such a trooper! You barely cried the entire weekend. You did lots of sleeping and eating, and were passed around to all the girls. You were quite the ladies man. You always seem to surprise me... the times I think "Oh no, how will Cohen do in this situation", you do amazingly well. Yesterday we had a photo session with Tom O'Neal. You did so great! You were a natural!! You loved the camera, the flash had you intrigued. I cannot wait to see all the photos. <br />
It seems like you are growing and changing everyday. Each morning I look at you and think, "wow, he grew overnight." You are longer, and definitely chubbier. Your little face has filled out, which make your sweet little cheeks even more irresistible. I can't help but kiss you all the time (Daddy was right, smother mother, I am). Daddy says the same thing... he gets home from work and looks at you and says "He's bigger, since I left this morning." Everyone warned us how quickly you'd grow and change, and they are so right. I am trying to soak in every moment, cuddle, coo and expression I can. My favorite time is snuggle time with you. I know this won't last forever, but for now it's the best part of my day.<br />
Daddy and I are so in love with you. Just yesterday we had a conversation about how "complete" we feel with you in our lives. You have filled our hearts with more love than you could ever know. It is the greatest joy to be your parents... we are, and will forever feel blessed. It has been so wonderful this past month, and I know as you grow, and change it'll only get sweeter. We can't wait for every step along this journey. Just the thought of watching you become a little boy, and a young man has us elated. Knowing the love and support that surrounds you, and the opportunities you'll be blessed with makes us so happy. <br />
Keeping growing little man, and remember, always, you are so loved!<br />
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xox,<br />
Mommy and Daddy<br />
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Mother's day 2012 (almost 2 weeks old)</div>
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Talking with daddy.</div>
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1 Month old!!!</div>
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Sleepy boy!</div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-246699053573267222012-05-09T14:44:00.000-07:002012-05-09T14:44:34.672-07:00A Birth story...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As I sit here trying to find a way to write out this experience, I find myself at a loss for words. Out of all the entries I've blogged this is by far the hardest for me. This journey has been one filled with many emotions, lots of ups and downs, and life lessons. It has taught me to be more patient, to love with all I have, and to appreciate the small things in life. I've never felt more joy, happiness and true honest love than I do right now. My heart is filled with more love than I ever even imagined it was capable of. Cohen has completely stole my heart... and the love, and admiration I have for Chris is beyond what words can describe. I feel like my life is so much more complete. Although I can look back at some entries I wrote and still recognize the pain, heartache, and desperation I felt at times I cannot imagine it any other way. This sweet little boy is worth the wait, and I would no trade any of it... I would not have HIM if it had been any other way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Wednesday April 25th was my last scheduled OB visit. I was anxious, nervous, and hopeful (for progress) as I entered the office. Dr Laughlin checked me and I was the same as the previous week (1 cm dialated, 50% effaced). It was a little discouraging to hear, because I was having some contractions and thought I may have progressed a little more. We discussed options, and decided that if Cohen did not arrive by that weekend she would induce on the following Monday (April 30th). I had high blood pressure the last few visits, and was swelling really bad. So, I left her office knowing I'd have a baby in the next 5 days. What a crazy thought that was! I was ready, but as soon as I began to think about the reality of it I must admit I was nervous. The unknowns of it all scared me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Chris and I enjoyed our last few days of quiet, and calm by going to the cabin and walking, going to the beach, one last date night, and snuggling up discussing what it'd be like to have Cohen here. Saturday and Sunday were filled with lots of contractions for me. I was up a lot during the nights, because I just couldn't get comfortable. They got stronger and stronger, and at some points would be 5 minutes apart (which we would time, and think "Is this it? Will we end up driving into the hospital this time?") but then they would go away for awhile. I figured this was good, at least my body was getting some of the work done before we went in on Monday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Monday morning was a whirlwind. I was nervous, really nervous, super anxious, and super excited all at once. I remember calling into the hospital to make sure they had a room available, and stuttering over my words. I cried as we drove away from our house, knowing the next time we came home Cohen would be with us. The entire day was just the most surreal thing. Went we got to the hospital I got all checked in, and waited for Dr Laughlin to come in. When she arrived she explained to me that they would put a cervadil (to help my cervix thin out and get labor started) inside me, and then she'd check me an hour our so later. I explained to her that I was having pretty strong contractions the last 36 hours, so she decided to check me first. I think she was surprised. She said "Oh wow, you've made a lot of progress over the last few days". I was 3 cm. dialated, and 80% effaced. She then decided to just break my water, and let things progress naturally. I was able to get up and walk around in between monitoring, and contractions. My contractions progressed over the hours, but not intensely. The nurses checked me and I slowly dialated a little bit more, but not a whole lot. At 2pm we decided to start the Pitosin (to speed up the process, and help my body progress). The nurse started it on a super slow drip, which helped things get going, but again, not tremendously. Awhile later they upped the pitosin, and that's when things really started progressing. I'm not sure what time it was but probably between 3 and 4 I was having very intense contractions, with little to no breaks in between. The nurse checked me and I was just about 5cm dialated. At this point I decided to get an epidural. It wasn't my favorite part, to say the least... I was contracting every 30 seconds, and had to lay in an uncomfortable position while they administered the epidural. I will say though, when it was said and done it was pure relief. I was able to relax my body, and calm down. (before I got it I was shaking and feeling very nauseous). Over the next few hours things progressed beautifully. Everytime the nurses checked me I was further along then the last time, and baby Cohen was making his way down the birth canal. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">By this time we had a waiting room full of people. Everyone was so excited and anxious to meet our little guy... but no one as excited as Chris and I. The day was just amazing for us both. He was so sweet, and helpful. He rubbed my feet, reminded me to breath, and comforted me perfectly. It was probably around 8:00pm I was last checked and the nurse (Judy) said "You are there! Fully dialated! Baby still has a little ways to come down, and you can let him labor down or we can start pushing." So, with that said the pushing began!! They don't call it labor for nothing. That was hard work. As I pushed, Kerry and Chris held my legs, and mom helped push my head forward. All I could focus on was Chris' voice. I could hear him say "Oh my gosh honey, he's right there!", "I see his head", "You are doing so great", "He's so close, keep pushing!". Dr Laughlin made it just in time... The end is all kind of a blur but I remember her saying "Oh my gosh, I thought I'd be here all night... I brought work to do and everything, you are so close... let me at least get my gloves on." I kept my eyes closed pretty much the entire time as I pushed. I just tried to focus on the fact that Cohen was almost here. At one point I could feel his head almost out, and Dr Laughlin said "I think with this next set of pushes he'll be out". That gave me the strength to push with all I had, and I did. Out he came! That was a moment I'll never, ever forget. I looked down to see this little tiny body, hands wailing everywhere, and could hear everyone around me crying and saying "He's here, oh wow. He's here." Cohen Rigsby Bartoli was born at 8:50 pm on April 30, 2012, weighing 6 lbs. 5 oz., and stretching to 19 1/2 inches long. I remember them putting Cohen on my chest, and he looked up at me... that moment is imprinted on my heart forever. The moment our eyes met was/is the most indescribable feeling I've ever known. Chris and I just cried, and kissed, and rejoiced in the fact that finally we did it! I honestly cannot think of a more rewarding, and powerful moment. I was blessed when I became Chris' wife, and now we've been blessed with the greatest gift this life can give. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">That night, and the next days to follow were just surreal. (I know I keep using that word, but it's hard to find anything else to compare it to). Chris and I were/are in complete awe of him, and this experience. He's absolutely perfect in every way, and we could not be more proud, and honored to be his parents. The Hospital staff was amazing, the nurses were so kind, informative, and compassionate. We were taken very good care of, and it was a wonderful birth. I am thankful to all the people who came and surrounded us with love that night and the days to follow. Cohen is one lucky little boy to have so many wonderful people in his life. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Chris and I are happy to be home, and be on our own schedule. Cohen is adjusting beautifully. He is eating well, sleeping lots, and pooping like crazy! Ah, the life of a baby. We took him to his first pediatric appointment last week and he looks and sounds very healthy and has gained 2 oz. since we left the hospital. He truly is the sweetest little bundle, and I just cannot get enough of him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Again, Thank you all for being a part of this journey with us. We are truly blessed!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">With Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Kristen & Chris</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">And now, for the first letter to my little angel (outside the womb)...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Cohen,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I still cannot believe you are here! I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn't all a dream. It's amazing to me that daddy and I made you. I watch your little movements and think, oh that's what you were doing in there. It's so beautiful to know you on the outside now. You are even more perfect than I imagined. You can't begin to know the joy you've brought to this family. Your daddy and I love you more than any words could ever say. I know throughout my posts I expressed how special you are, and how loved and wanted you are, but now that you are here it's even better than all that. The love I feel for you is more than I imagined my heart was capable of. I could stare at you all day, and listen to your little coo's all night. You have made daddy and I's lives complete, and there is nothing we wouldn't do for you. I would not change one single moment in this journey to you... like I said before one the biggest lessons I've learned is "everything happens for a reason". YOU are the reason, and I would not want it any other way. You are beautiful, wonderful, sweet, and perfect. We believe in all you are, and know you'll grow to be a kind, and loving boy, and man. You are our forever, our everything, and you will always be loved. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are my "I love you",</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy and Daddy</span></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-52851815497899992912012-04-16T14:17:00.000-07:002012-04-16T14:17:20.322-07:00Waiting on Cohen<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Cohen,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Well here we are... anxiously awaiting your arrival. It's surreal to know you could come anytime now. In some ways it seems like time has flown by, and in others it seems like a lifetime that we've been waiting. Daddy and I are thrilled to know that one of the biggest, most exciting and forever changing moments in our lives is here! We cannot wait to meet you, little man. Mommy has our bag packed, and ready to go to the hospital, we've put your carseat in the car, and prepped everything in the house to be ready for you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy has been in and out of the doctors office like crazy, and they've even sent us to the hospital twice to monitor you and I. Mommy's blood pressure has been a little high the last few visits so they want to monitor us both and make sure everything is ok. Once I'm laying down in the hospital everything looks great and my heart rate drops... I think it's just the anticipation of each visit, and hearing what they'll say. You'll soon find out, your mommy is not the calmest and most confident person in these situations. I tend to get a little overly excited. Thank goodness for daddy, he's the calm to my storm! He's been so wonderful through all of this, I know you will recognize right away how lucky we are to have him. He is so excited for you to arrive... it's pretty sweet. He talks to you in my belly, assuring you how great your life will be, how loved you are and sometimes pleading with you to "take it easy on mama little guy." (You've got quite a fierce kick, and seem to enjoy bouncing off my ribs these days).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You must be pretty crammed in there, and we welcome you to come on out whenever you feel ready! It's amazing to watch you squirm and twist in my belly now. My entire stomach will shift, as you move. I can really feel your little feet as they cross my belly, back and forth, back and forth... you've been a mover from the beginning! You get the hiccups A LOT! Usually 2 to 3 times a day. Sometimes you'll get really mad when you get them and squirm around like crazy. You definitely have your active moments, and from what I hear a lot of babies follow the same routine (movement, awake periods, hiccups, etc.) when they come out... I can't lie I am a little nervous, because you are definitely moving more than you are calm and rested. Daddy says you'll be just like him; a high metabolism, and always doing something. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Auntie Kerry has started reading up on all the wives tales to get labor started and get you out. It's pretty funny. Everyone is so excited to meet you! Yesterday daddy took mommy up to our cabin in white rock and we walked the lake (twice!)... we called "Operation walk this baby out". I guess you are pretty comfy in there, and I don't blame you. I know you will come out whenever you are ready, and just know when you do we will do everything in our power to make it a easy, peaceful, and loving transition for you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We cannot wait to meet you sweet baby! See you soon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy and Daddy</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicd2wkjsQbpYK0p7E_PWqHeqmzL1E2wJ_-PiMekC8uIYtxOWyENQJkaj_9aBe32kT1iaMP4S2XfX8fnLcUHvdt-zOObJ1XDqLxdp8g_TwvdU7YH24T6ZH5NtQGtHLugZI_KgbUHhGMc9Os/s1600/cohenclothes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicd2wkjsQbpYK0p7E_PWqHeqmzL1E2wJ_-PiMekC8uIYtxOWyENQJkaj_9aBe32kT1iaMP4S2XfX8fnLcUHvdt-zOObJ1XDqLxdp8g_TwvdU7YH24T6ZH5NtQGtHLugZI_KgbUHhGMc9Os/s320/cohenclothes.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Your tiny little "Coming home" outfit, all ready to go...</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmiW4evmFBeqPQEUNy5EAVUD5_xIsZsV27vaGX1fxPqh6sVPhiyqiJ8HHfMdfkm_fVP-x3k8IwnAFBm3DQt2fsiOWXj8MqoCxjOOyLNJ-QY0y4TQ7hcIR0rLgwv1BZ6d8cFJBjdLytsTj/s1600/37weeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="320" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOmiW4evmFBeqPQEUNy5EAVUD5_xIsZsV27vaGX1fxPqh6sVPhiyqiJ8HHfMdfkm_fVP-x3k8IwnAFBm3DQt2fsiOWXj8MqoCxjOOyLNJ-QY0y4TQ7hcIR0rLgwv1BZ6d8cFJBjdLytsTj/s320/37weeks.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy (and you), 37 weeks...</span></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-50365486464015497992012-02-29T18:07:00.000-08:002012-02-29T18:07:46.295-08:00Showered with love...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sweet Cohen,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This last weekend was our baby shower. It was such a great day! So many people gathered to celebrate and shower mommy (and mostly you) with love, kindness and gifts. You wouldn't believe how amazing Grandma Stacie's house looked, adorned with baby blue decorations everywhere! Even the punch we drank was blue. There was the cutest dessert table set up with onesie, heart and "C" block cookies, a cake with your name on it, chocolate covered marshmallows and the sweetest cupcakes to be seen. Auntie Kerry set out photos of mommy and daddy as babies, cute rubber duckies, a table that had all of mommy's cravings, and the cutest blue details throughout the house. Auntie Liz made a diaper cake, which Kristen and Payton helped with I'm sure. The table was filled with all kinds of yummy snacks, and the house was filled with more love than you could ever know. It was perfect! Every detail!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We played some pretty silly games. The ladies split into teams and created "baby Cohen's" using baby photos, crayons, glue and some got pretty creative with other "props". Some of those babies were a little scary looking, and none could be as cute as you will be, but mommy had to choose her favorite. We also had a "quiz" that mommy and daddy answered questions to. It had questions like; What was a runner up name for Cohen? (Daddy answered; "Carston." Mommy answered; "Graham"). What trait do you think your spouse will take on as a parent? (Daddy said; "Everything he'll need. She's the complete package. Mommy said; "He'll be fun, involved and a bit of a softy"). What do you want most for Cohen? (Daddy said "I want him to be HAPPY!", Mommy said "For him to be happy, healthy and always know how loved he is"). It was fun to hear the answers and what people thought we'd say.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You made out like a bandit when it came time to open gifts... you are so lucky! I swear, you have more clothes than mommy (and daddy!). Auntie Kerry made sure you'd always be the best dressed kid on the block! She had a basket full of cute clothes, hats, shoes and accessories for you. Grandma and grandpa Bartoli made sure you'd be riding in style (and safely!!) in your new carseat and stroller. So many people made you the sweetest hand sewn quilts, burp rags, diaper changing pads, and even a boppy cover (I still can't believe Auntie Natty pulled that one off). You have a basket filled with toys, and rattles and all kinds of fun bath towels and products. I am pretty sure we've got enough diapers and wipes to last us awhile! You're little corner has really come together. Amy, Billy and Landon made the sweetest sign for mommy to hang above your changing table that reads; "You are my Sunshine". Mommy fell in love with the sign! I can't wait for you to see everything, and explore through all your goodies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You know, it's funny, Mommy has been really good lately about keeping my emotions under wrap, but something came over me the morning of the shower. It hit me how soon you'll be here. I feel like I've waited a lifetime for this. It wasn't the easiest "journey", it was heartbreaking and discouraging in the beginning, but I can honestly say that I would not change a single moment, experience or thing about it. As we approach the "end" and near your birth I can reflect back on the whole experience, and I am filled with pure satisfaction, and overcome by the joy of knowing you were the one to come into daddy and I's lives. The heartache only made this journey sweeter. The discouaraging and unbearable moments made us stronger. The hoplessness, and grief made us love and appreciate you all the more. There will never be a day that goes by that I am not thankful to be your mommy. I know that there will be hard days, and frustrating times, but you will always be the greatest gift to your daddy and I! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The other day I stumbled upon this sweet little poem, and it completely took the words from my heart...</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><h1 class="textXLarge" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You are my I love you</span> </span></h1><h1 class="textXLarge" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Author: Maryann K Cusimano</span></i> </span></h1></div><div style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 12px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: x-small;">I am your parent you are my child<br />
I am your quiet place, you are my wild<br />
I am your calm face, you are my giggle<br />
I am your wait, you are my wiggle<br />
I am your audience, you are my clown<br />
I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down<br />
I am your Carrot Sticks, you are my licorice<br />
I am your dandelion, you are my first wish<br />
I am your water wings, you are my deep<br />
I am your open arms, you are my running leap<br />
I am your way home, you are my new path<br />
I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath<br />
I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake<br />
I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake<br />
I am your finish line, you are my race<br />
I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace<br />
I am your favorite book, you are my new lines<br />
I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine<br />
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo<br />
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you</span></div><div style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 12px; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Forever and ever. Love,</span></strong></div><div style="line-height: 160%; margin-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 12px; padding-left: 12px; padding-right: 12px; padding-top: 12px; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Mommy</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07QUxyZAwZsMWvML6Agx_s_mmzcTT-KZny6uQMPdLl3L64XCghvuHVfHILVgfD0JEF7kyok_Y2d707RDhkYMc_IZRSVEtjDFnyk114Bl8a8WFv8iAnAmu2U1vAOGXQvFnDGSW00fk6AZh/s1600/IMG_0509.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07QUxyZAwZsMWvML6Agx_s_mmzcTT-KZny6uQMPdLl3L64XCghvuHVfHILVgfD0JEF7kyok_Y2d707RDhkYMc_IZRSVEtjDFnyk114Bl8a8WFv8iAnAmu2U1vAOGXQvFnDGSW00fk6AZh/s320/IMG_0509.JPG" uda="true" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxzyFvgN6KQnSCUEbaYqD-OVU5zDrwKOyBox7kH2fYcV3_GYEXzwb9588tI5vpAqLATVgLwTyaHjTUpjogLBctorIqAVLv5ZzKMRV7X93y-a9Jj9vazfpDZI-FoQ0SzbZph7Ffi__yzWTa/s320/IMG_0456.JPG" uda="true" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyAlUyV1naJ3_FhyLbSAgzOwqi_u-DAHj0ZcPTHK6pDpx_v9_F69Jb1a5DRN_GfZ9CfHQPidL_pSIBSplmyJNSyGGGmpLbSZxVwBNKjMReg7x9uMc3PJf5Al7HJ25o8h0VRMEnBe4AOO7r/s1600/IMG_0460.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyAlUyV1naJ3_FhyLbSAgzOwqi_u-DAHj0ZcPTHK6pDpx_v9_F69Jb1a5DRN_GfZ9CfHQPidL_pSIBSplmyJNSyGGGmpLbSZxVwBNKjMReg7x9uMc3PJf5Al7HJ25o8h0VRMEnBe4AOO7r/s320/IMG_0460.JPG" uda="true" width="213" /></a></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-3753197606397148582012-02-22T08:58:00.000-08:002012-02-22T08:58:17.734-08:0010 weeks and counting...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dear Cohen,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In one sense time seems to be flying by, yet in another moving so slowly. Your daddy and I marvel at the thought that you will be here so soon, and are anxious as the days pass. We are so ready to meet you! We ponder on what you will look like (I think you'll look like daddy!), and what you will be like. You are still so active in my tummy, I have a feeling daddy and I will have a mover on our hands. Mommy has gotten pretty good at watching 2 am movies... that seems to be your most active time of the night, uh oh. We have your little bassinet ready, your clothes and blankets washed and some snuggly little toys all anxiously awaiting your arrival. I have asked daddy a few times now if he's feeling nervous at all, but everytime he just smiles and replies "No! I can't wait." He's going to be such a good daddy, and already has plans for all the things you'll do together (which include lots of fishing, hunting and cabin trips). Mommy, for the most part feels good. You are definitely growing in there, so my tummy is getting heavy and sore, but you are so worth it!! I wouldn't trade one single moment of this pregnancy for anything in the world. I am so happy to be YOUR mommy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am excited as we approach the weekend and looking forward to a day of celebration, for you! Auntie Kerry and Grandma Stacie are throwing mommy a baby shower. There will be so many people there who love you, and are just as excited to meet you as mommy and daddy. We have already started to receive gifts for you from other family members who can't make it to the shower. They send their love to all of us, especially you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We Love you Cohen. We will be using these last few weeks to make sure that everything is just perfect for your arrival. We want you stay in there and grow strong and healthy as long as you need... and when you are ready we will all be waiting to hug, kiss, and love you! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">With love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy and Daddy</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This last weekend Auntie "Buddy" (Lacey) took pictures of mommy and daddy (and you) for us to cherish after you are here. They turned out very cute, she did a really good job.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1WJCusLvBwwr3dz-PZNcRH04aPMalVTPiFQqarreYJJ3GZyyfqByfV63JCuapeWRJe0OZMDKui-aksKERdII24BOnwZc0XTezsJJ_P5hMFY6zRTD-uWTRs2ysCxSrF6TMkFDyjFrLoT6/s1600/IMG_0356.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1WJCusLvBwwr3dz-PZNcRH04aPMalVTPiFQqarreYJJ3GZyyfqByfV63JCuapeWRJe0OZMDKui-aksKERdII24BOnwZc0XTezsJJ_P5hMFY6zRTD-uWTRs2ysCxSrF6TMkFDyjFrLoT6/s200/IMG_0356.JPG" width="133" yda="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi71EBd3kq04oylKtmTov6lg2qskBrWYHuUCJXyk3-q7j_HV7VgmYSZJAnaxTgZa3Pssp9pQ5dcN5V5silIoat9l22BgzWHLu458LkbGqozuVqVF-REZCGppRnwN4-VJKqvnsV14vMgomqQ/s1600/IMG_0317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi71EBd3kq04oylKtmTov6lg2qskBrWYHuUCJXyk3-q7j_HV7VgmYSZJAnaxTgZa3Pssp9pQ5dcN5V5silIoat9l22BgzWHLu458LkbGqozuVqVF-REZCGppRnwN4-VJKqvnsV14vMgomqQ/s200/IMG_0317.JPG" width="133" yda="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> <span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>Cohen Rigsby Bartoli</strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8P8-iV5L-Du5HGVnSgO6XaWuefZT0uJK3eQx3rqJRnC8bWjTDdzv7-swEwwbbmzwAI9CzSnynzTkzBpT_gaFTKUPQzUEb-uWk67AhrCpmAl0iuQAh0V_mBlAPkVxC0QCC5VkpXQBkk2GN/s1600/IMG_0334.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8P8-iV5L-Du5HGVnSgO6XaWuefZT0uJK3eQx3rqJRnC8bWjTDdzv7-swEwwbbmzwAI9CzSnynzTkzBpT_gaFTKUPQzUEb-uWk67AhrCpmAl0iuQAh0V_mBlAPkVxC0QCC5VkpXQBkk2GN/s320/IMG_0334.JPG" width="213" yda="true" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd4mdyM30mWYuBUO_HgK_qJ7IuQy3BdrUtDKKxCMfT6sas2ngnb2yR04IeUgBamRAaSbdKz5h6UZ2UuXvygpEucXD9gmN4b7-a2ECzRK_z-DxcAdM_VsSnTKX21W-S8iSGXtk8WCriJmnP/s1600/IMG_0350.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd4mdyM30mWYuBUO_HgK_qJ7IuQy3BdrUtDKKxCMfT6sas2ngnb2yR04IeUgBamRAaSbdKz5h6UZ2UuXvygpEucXD9gmN4b7-a2ECzRK_z-DxcAdM_VsSnTKX21W-S8iSGXtk8WCriJmnP/s320/IMG_0350.JPG" width="320" yda="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfFlHibRwQPrzmv6IsTFdD5JQUWljM4Of_5A63TIkV5lC82Dz-4LR1LCAk3XvwFg6-8O6vBnr4JZZx0QfT78EEa1yrRvCM0an6mhx2J6D_klK1oEcORFL2eHIpwUnKft4We5GIP2xDx8bx/s1600/IMG_0378.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfFlHibRwQPrzmv6IsTFdD5JQUWljM4Of_5A63TIkV5lC82Dz-4LR1LCAk3XvwFg6-8O6vBnr4JZZx0QfT78EEa1yrRvCM0an6mhx2J6D_klK1oEcORFL2eHIpwUnKft4We5GIP2xDx8bx/s320/IMG_0378.JPG" width="213" yda="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGcgfB6BcrKzucozmb3lQfEgZbE3rbfmhyphenhyphenjqiM7dYD1eTZybBI6kDU5F11LUZpvsOIMhwwpXYQRpzDJc_AhxaTSKGqTAFsbJ_YaT2mf24pGlyPsu4FhKiv-B4q31zSpAwfRnHE_83DiFni/s1600/IMG_0320.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGcgfB6BcrKzucozmb3lQfEgZbE3rbfmhyphenhyphenjqiM7dYD1eTZybBI6kDU5F11LUZpvsOIMhwwpXYQRpzDJc_AhxaTSKGqTAFsbJ_YaT2mf24pGlyPsu4FhKiv-B4q31zSpAwfRnHE_83DiFni/s320/IMG_0320.JPG" width="213" yda="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLz_gQh6X-EJMNe-DYyJc7G0AMlQGvsA10GHQ3I1VccNkM1d4EtNr8jatslb1X_lG0OCKPZs_DB5hKcITuPnd3n3jFJqAr-iuSbOdFgvaaEpDnVnRBp9gZ48PqDYOpnHasQoUiOVRNROKj/s1600/IMG_0327.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLz_gQh6X-EJMNe-DYyJc7G0AMlQGvsA10GHQ3I1VccNkM1d4EtNr8jatslb1X_lG0OCKPZs_DB5hKcITuPnd3n3jFJqAr-iuSbOdFgvaaEpDnVnRBp9gZ48PqDYOpnHasQoUiOVRNROKj/s200/IMG_0327.JPG" width="133" yda="true" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUk_r0XluXD7jH1IkChYBVSJHh2L0OIBF711VgWPC7GGjYMvrM8G7_kctnmCh73g72WuzFY-YSJGS-gxCDZu_Gmz12wC7GdCzP4zh0Kt3fxFmvOMyeIJ7genBVCKEVbC3ZA_yUqblv7zLj/s1600/IMG_0337.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUk_r0XluXD7jH1IkChYBVSJHh2L0OIBF711VgWPC7GGjYMvrM8G7_kctnmCh73g72WuzFY-YSJGS-gxCDZu_Gmz12wC7GdCzP4zh0Kt3fxFmvOMyeIJ7genBVCKEVbC3ZA_yUqblv7zLj/s320/IMG_0337.JPG" width="320" yda="true" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPWoO-1uPx6p2MbggM3aHr3zNT3Y7viv3Im0GYz4IwILH6ljyChk8ttDWPyl64hMuhoHZZWUxYdt9vHkNvvTJZtRS5Ob18x61z3aVfnJ-chAtZxmAZ7796gdIPZIEHfM-RktLo5po9x8dH/s1600/IMG_0367.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPWoO-1uPx6p2MbggM3aHr3zNT3Y7viv3Im0GYz4IwILH6ljyChk8ttDWPyl64hMuhoHZZWUxYdt9vHkNvvTJZtRS5Ob18x61z3aVfnJ-chAtZxmAZ7796gdIPZIEHfM-RktLo5po9x8dH/s320/IMG_0367.JPG" width="320" yda="true" /></a></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-28534233195820485632012-01-05T17:30:00.000-08:002012-01-05T17:30:39.616-08:00The beginning to a great year...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Another letter to our sweet baby boy,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's hard to believe you have been cooking up for six months already! You will be here before we know it, and daddy and I could not be more excited, anxious, and even a little nervous for your arrival. It seems most of our conversations revolve around you. We talk about our hopes and dreams for you, how our lives will forever be changed, and mostly how elated we are. We discuss what it will be like to finally meet you, hold you and love on you. I cannot wait!! Daddy says "watch out, I may be a smother mother."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> We have cleared out a corner in the bedroom to make room for you, Cohen. That was overwhelming! Mommy had a breakdown, thinking of how we could possibly fit any more stuff into our tiny little house... but we did it, and it's very cozy and cute! Mommy made your name to put up on the wall, which turned out very sweet. Working at a preschool has come in quite handy... I have received clothes, blankets, and toys for you to last us awhile. Your small little corner is beginning to take over. Hey, at least you'll have plenty of cute outfits... and will always be stylin'.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tBkhyQG28Os/TwZNEEs2w9I/AAAAAAAAADA/MS1NF5Gtne4/s1600/cohens+room.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="320" rea="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tBkhyQG28Os/TwZNEEs2w9I/AAAAAAAAADA/MS1NF5Gtne4/s320/cohens+room.jpg" width="239" /></span></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XGk_cTJLBQU/TwZNeoiIZEI/AAAAAAAAADM/V3h2W6RDQCo/s1600/cohenstocking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="200" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XGk_cTJLBQU/TwZNeoiIZEI/AAAAAAAAADM/V3h2W6RDQCo/s200/cohenstocking.jpg" width="200" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We survived the holidays, and mommy's belly has really started to grow. It is a definite baby bump now. Grammy and Papa bought you some very cute outfits for Christmas! You even got your very first piggy bank and ten dollar bill to start your savings. You aren't even here yet, and you are already getting spoiled!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> You sure are an active little guy! Mommy feels you moving all the time. I am not sure what you are doing in there, but you really get going! (Maybe it's all the sweets; Oreos, candy and anything chocolate are your favorites). You must be eating a lot, and growing big... mommy's appetite has increased tremendously!! Everyone is amazed at how much you and I can "put down". I tell them "Hey, he's a growing boy... gotta keep him fed!". Lots of people have got to feel you kicking on the outside of my belly. You gave daddy and auntie Kerry a few good kicks... they were both so excited to feel you moving around! Daddy still likes to talk to you in mommys belly... sometimes that gets you moving too! It's pretty cute.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's been really fun working at the preschool and hearing the children's reactions and comments to my growing belly. Here are a few of my favorite conversations:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Louise: "Mrs Kristen your belly sure is growing big"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "Yes, it is..."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Charlotte: "That's because she's growing a baby in there"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "Yes, thats true. It's a baby boy!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Charlotte: "Aw, that's a bummer... I dont really like boy babies." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(She has 2 big sisters... so I think it's more that she doesn't know much about "boy babies". It gave me a good laugh)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Elise: "Mrs Kristen, your tummy is really getting big!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "I know, it is... the baby needs room to grow, so my tummy will get bigger and bigger."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Elise: "Ya, I know, that's what happened to my mom... Mrs Kristen, you might need to go to the hospital tonight."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "Well, I hope not... this baby isnt due until April!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Elise: "It's January, you have awhile... I sure hope you don't pop!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I find myself watching the little boys play, imaging what it will be like when you are old enough to engage in activities they enjoy. Trains, race cars, lego blocks and wrestling are in my near future... I feel it. I cannot wait to crawl around on the floor with you, build tall towers, play spies and army, zoom race cars and build train tracks (or whatever else you want to do). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Daddy and I both promised to love eachother, in good, bad and hard times... and we both make the same vow to you!! You are our sweet baby boy (always, no matter how big you get) and we are so excited for you to join this family. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-18ottH5Xf64/TwZLaGfKB4I/AAAAAAAAACc/DcnyDGTn8Eo/s1600/IMG_0014.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="213" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-18ottH5Xf64/TwZLaGfKB4I/AAAAAAAAACc/DcnyDGTn8Eo/s320/IMG_0014.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">21 weeks!! You were our favorite lil' Christmas package!</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r5PPiqvPdK0/TwZLhtrHGLI/AAAAAAAAACk/HK5rqk9Y9mw/s1600/IMG_0021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="320" rea="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-r5PPiqvPdK0/TwZLhtrHGLI/AAAAAAAAACk/HK5rqk9Y9mw/s320/IMG_0021.JPG" width="213" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mommy and daddy right before Christmas!</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gjaFMgtVX2c/TwZLqqzn-FI/AAAAAAAAACs/HfMZqCU2IfA/s1600/IMG_0088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="213" rea="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gjaFMgtVX2c/TwZLqqzn-FI/AAAAAAAAACs/HfMZqCU2IfA/s320/IMG_0088.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You were our little New Years Eve disco ball...</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bjSySPnh6GQ/TwZLxeFE1TI/AAAAAAAAAC0/-j-AGrBKWkg/s1600/IMG_0083.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="320" rea="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bjSySPnh6GQ/TwZLxeFE1TI/AAAAAAAAAC0/-j-AGrBKWkg/s320/IMG_0083.JPG" width="213" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Daddy and mommy... so excited for all the love 2012 will bring! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">We love you Cohen Rigsby xo</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-901576437590889492011-12-06T17:01:00.000-08:002011-12-06T17:01:07.133-08:00Let us introduce you to Cohen Rigsby Bartoli...<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Exciting, exciting things going on in the Bartoli home!! It's so funny, patience has never been a strong suit of mine, but the main lesson I've learned in this journey is "Patience is a virtue". Over the past 2 years I cannot tell you how many times Chris and I heard "Things happen when and how they're supposed to", "Everything happens for a reason", and "Be patient, this too shall pass." I knew all 3 of those sayings were true, but still... they were never what I wanted to hear!! When you want something that bad waiting doesn't seem bearable, no matter what the reasoning behind it is. Well, I believe.... Everything does happen for a reason, and at the exact time it is meant to be!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Yesterday, I was scheduled for an OB check. I was told I would get orders for a 3D scan to look in on Baby B, and make sure everything was healthy, and progressing just as it should be. I was most eager to know if I was carrying a pink or blue bundle?! My birthday is wednesday and so I thought, "Perfect... I will get the paperwork, fax it over and get to find out on my birthday". What a gift, right? Wrong!! My appointment got canceled (without my knowledge), and I wasn't able to get another one until January 9th!! Kerry was with me at the appointment, and we both knew there was no way we could wait another 4 weeks to know. (We had plotted for the past few days how we could convince the Dr to just take a quick peek and try to figure out the gender). At first I was irritated, but then the a certain thought popped in my head "everything happens for a reason"... I decided (with a push from Kerry) to call a Sonographer I had heard about in Los Gatos. I told him our dilemma, and how I was anxiously waiting to find out boy or girl, to which he replied "Well, I have an appointment at 4 today if you'd like it!". Mind you it was 2:15 at this point, and Kerry and I were sitting outside the OB Dr's office in Monterey. I looked at my sister and she said "We are going!!". I told Lance (the AMAZING Sonographer) we'd be there. Kerry quickly gathered up my parents, her fiance and of course Chris, and we all got on the road. Crazy, yes, but exactly how it was meant to be... I'd say yes to that too! We all kind of giggled at ourselves on the way up, wondering are most pregnant women (and their families) this anxious to know?! We placed our last minute bets... Chris and I stuck with blue, Kerry said pink. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We walked into the appointment with 2 minutes to spare. It was a big room, with 2 TV screens to watch, and we were all anxious, and excited at this point. We got right to it. I am pretty sure Lance knew what the baby was as soon as he put the monitor on, but we all waited. He said "So, do you have names picked out?", "Cohen, for a boy. Huntley, for a girl" I replied. "Well I'd like to introduce you to your son, Cohen!!". I immediately went into tears (as did grandpa Bruce, shh don't tell him I told you that). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We watched in complete awe for 45 minutes as Lance showed us so many views of our little man. I may be partial, but I think he is perfect in everyway! Our little Cohen looked healthy, and was moving and showing off for us the whole time. At one point he waved his little fingers at us, as if he were saying "Hi guys!". We watched as he played with his little toes, stretched out his LONG legs, and rubbed his sweet little face. It was truly an amazing experience. I could've stayed there all night just watching my son. It was so reassuring to look at all his organs, his bone structure, his little heart beating, and to know he is one healthy, growing boy! Chris and I are still on cloud nine, and are completely in love... I cannot even imagine how we will feel when he is born! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Again, we thank you for sharing in our journey... it makes it all the more special to share it with people who love and support us, and baby Cohen!!</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Profile View... His little fist up to his eye.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQbZvwI8gB2oZsUAI1eOIeIifsjsLJ95OgL_Q3ZjU2Q4DDaxg4AN2tJGl1fptVimEVRBslm9PoVktsq2PeuW2005H5FBPs4uZEKCSdXj6G4n4NV9ca_AIHAXxWnXWYb7Z_PImQPFkzDyU/s1600/BABY+BOY_12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQbZvwI8gB2oZsUAI1eOIeIifsjsLJ95OgL_Q3ZjU2Q4DDaxg4AN2tJGl1fptVimEVRBslm9PoVktsq2PeuW2005H5FBPs4uZEKCSdXj6G4n4NV9ca_AIHAXxWnXWYb7Z_PImQPFkzDyU/s320/BABY+BOY_12.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Look at those long legs! daddy says "He's gonna be fast!!". Mommy thinks the long legs look like daddy's, he even crosses them at the ankles like this when he sits!</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCzSKYKkO8PgjWED0qUXmcUzxYGBvCRA6UzYY4CvMsXe6HfKn95NQqsV_hOvIVw0EDppA6UFQP2WgZnDgi9X3wTBphp2AJEOLxBxymFUerYY8fGQq__R5MM6rmUfv6bIi6W5Lw-16F3By/s1600/BABY+BOY_5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWCzSKYKkO8PgjWED0qUXmcUzxYGBvCRA6UzYY4CvMsXe6HfKn95NQqsV_hOvIVw0EDppA6UFQP2WgZnDgi9X3wTBphp2AJEOLxBxymFUerYY8fGQq__R5MM6rmUfv6bIi6W5Lw-16F3By/s320/BABY+BOY_5.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">4D Profile view. Sweet little lips!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifgZEqJEp4QBSGGDrp8A_yGdizbtMPXbFBQisk6k3vokSYiviK8VKHlGrw10fhtee9ee8ebosHbZds3p9IuAe7-Uq9UyDmWVI14ChCSoz1MwQ1XJK96wq34PCPuxLuVSG5lvc6UlRhAqlm/s1600/BABY+BOY_19.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifgZEqJEp4QBSGGDrp8A_yGdizbtMPXbFBQisk6k3vokSYiviK8VKHlGrw10fhtee9ee8ebosHbZds3p9IuAe7-Uq9UyDmWVI14ChCSoz1MwQ1XJK96wq34PCPuxLuVSG5lvc6UlRhAqlm/s320/BABY+BOY_19.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">This is one of Mommy's favorites. Cohen's little tiny foot. You can even see his toes!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQR9F1G7vlAbmE7b3vfBDuuHRq9QGZ5pEqpVqPN8Do8FaRHzmZYL3n4ULm1OhLtNTTRnkKFvd82JIhQ909p8rnGQsGr7ZTOBGL1a3icrDzXpVfpsrid1krhyhOyelOH99bBlEYVwlC_6hI/s1600/BABY+BOY_2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQR9F1G7vlAbmE7b3vfBDuuHRq9QGZ5pEqpVqPN8Do8FaRHzmZYL3n4ULm1OhLtNTTRnkKFvd82JIhQ909p8rnGQsGr7ZTOBGL1a3icrDzXpVfpsrid1krhyhOyelOH99bBlEYVwlC_6hI/s320/BABY+BOY_2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Looks like Cohen's smiling!!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9W5cwzaUr5NR2wA-pKVtIdpSlJfErhrdGVLRcYD5h0RLd_k5vkJ9dh-vxUab9yv9gmaaNnBzXwaLFblWwvsLk-RFcdyH8YDVEnE4REWRWKHII_Ekaz8XgOCMBK3nOwTFgdyot9rlU1A5/s1600/BABY+BOY_21.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9W5cwzaUr5NR2wA-pKVtIdpSlJfErhrdGVLRcYD5h0RLd_k5vkJ9dh-vxUab9yv9gmaaNnBzXwaLFblWwvsLk-RFcdyH8YDVEnE4REWRWKHII_Ekaz8XgOCMBK3nOwTFgdyot9rlU1A5/s320/BABY+BOY_21.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our Sweet Cohen Rigsby (It feels good to call you by your name!!),</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We love you so much! We could not be happier that you are ours. Thank you for giving mommy the sweetest, best ever birthday present... a little glimpse into your world! I am starting to feel you kicking and moving inside me and it is the best feeling in the world! Keep on moving and shaking little man. Until we see you again, you fill our thoughts, dreams and hearts with more love than you could ever know!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">With love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Your mommy and daddy</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwY4TsbR2l0CpR8rLiHJjpHIS-1hbrOvhgQj-PzOpxt2kq2xRHLGsHShBB7VJANc5JezH-zrV9WvaVa4uEb7PxnZnjLyS4EgAKkCrnK7kI1bMJN10yHtcDzEjHFsib3MZa57WXA1ouZdk1/s1600/babycohen1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwY4TsbR2l0CpR8rLiHJjpHIS-1hbrOvhgQj-PzOpxt2kq2xRHLGsHShBB7VJANc5JezH-zrV9WvaVa4uEb7PxnZnjLyS4EgAKkCrnK7kI1bMJN10yHtcDzEjHFsib3MZa57WXA1ouZdk1/s320/babycohen1.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJVrWv6okUFCrlLn8SaWWPl4sex4Ym46iXoSpXsqXmw_Haw324sZhVhvAOUAcwDkFXhe9T-IkjzbJj1cCv6xavf5jFsIasNlIsN-ReZHiJSppBMMsOHw00D5NeshcaGbKNk0P2K79wjRaV/s1600/babycohen2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" dda="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJVrWv6okUFCrlLn8SaWWPl4sex4Ym46iXoSpXsqXmw_Haw324sZhVhvAOUAcwDkFXhe9T-IkjzbJj1cCv6xavf5jFsIasNlIsN-ReZHiJSppBMMsOHw00D5NeshcaGbKNk0P2K79wjRaV/s320/babycohen2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-87185738122612386402011-11-07T17:18:00.000-08:002011-11-07T17:18:05.236-08:0015 weeks, and "growing" strong.<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sweet Baby of Ours,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Well, we have made it into the second trimester!! We are a little over 15 weeks now. Things are getting "easier" for mommy. I am feeling a lot better these days, and am starting to get some energy back. My tummy is growing... everyday it seems a little bigger. It must be because my appetite has returned... and with a vengance! I swear, I am hungry all day long. Baby Bartoli and I are lucky that Daddy is such a good cook. He's been feeding us well! (Plus auntie Kerry's baked goods are always a treat too!).</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivskMqOg-oveJ7c7SjsCq95ko2oswsvPj-NzIUUQrvgDqAjOcy5bTzthLzpkEfhLmQACcFCvmbbDX_lCyaOTS4OawmlOWn0Op87I6rVulnPMjDNmJSOS7MX0SZzNqyhoSP_jRHgDG7bNUN/s1600/belly1+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivskMqOg-oveJ7c7SjsCq95ko2oswsvPj-NzIUUQrvgDqAjOcy5bTzthLzpkEfhLmQACcFCvmbbDX_lCyaOTS4OawmlOWn0Op87I6rVulnPMjDNmJSOS7MX0SZzNqyhoSP_jRHgDG7bNUN/s320/belly1+%25282%2529.JPG" width="239" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPKIMCO_l6VPrRy1SwlpRknkmtCLluNkmozWBnAaqHMAzHG3zkIkTOFz0tBBRXsygAZVpsHNgT9yJIdO3bKwrQYm9tJcU8FRqSsrHxVaSmrkUxEqk8nJD80a0V8R-hLbauJYlt_xx2bqS/s1600/belly2+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPKIMCO_l6VPrRy1SwlpRknkmtCLluNkmozWBnAaqHMAzHG3zkIkTOFz0tBBRXsygAZVpsHNgT9yJIdO3bKwrQYm9tJcU8FRqSsrHxVaSmrkUxEqk8nJD80a0V8R-hLbauJYlt_xx2bqS/s320/belly2+%25282%2529.JPG" width="239" /></a>(Taken at about 14 weeks)</div><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I went in for my OB appointment this afternoon. Daddy couldn't make it today, so Grandma Stacie joined me. We sat anxiously awaiting Dr. Laughlin. I noticed that there was no ultra sound machine in the room (as had been in previous appointments), and told Grandma not to get her hopes up... we may not get to see you today. Dr. Laughlin came in with her handheld heart monitor and placed it on mommy's belly, but all we could hear was my heartbeat. So, we did get to see you in the end because Dr. says "If we can't hear you, we'll have to look for you." We found out mommy's placenta is on top (against my tummy) which makes it hard to hear your tiny little heartbeat. Grandma thought that was a blessing in disguise... she really wanted to see you! You've grown a lot in the past month! We saw your little heart beating, and your entire body. Once again you did a few kicks for us. You are still so little, but it's amazing to see how much you grow between each visit. The Dr says I'll start feeling you move around soon... I am sure you are active in there (you usually are on the ultra sounds). So far you feel like little bubbles floating and popping... I can only imagine what's to come.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Everyone is eager to know if you are a boy, or girl? We should know in about 5 weeks. Either way, everyone is so excited just for YOU to be on the way! You are so loved, by so many people... especially daddy and I. I am not quite sure that you can hear him, but daddy kisses my belly and talks to you everyday! We are sure lucky to have him! He's taking really good care of mommy, and I know he'll do the same for you!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I hope that someday when you are old enough to read these letters and comprehend what's going on you can feel how adored you are. I haven't even met you, touched you, held you or kissed you but you have already filled my heart with so much love, joy and true happiness. I am so excited for you to join daddy and I in this world, and for us to be a family. I promise to take the very best care of you I possibly can now and everyday. You and daddy are my everything!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I love you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;">Mommy</span>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-43647334635151132982011-10-11T14:40:00.000-07:002011-10-11T14:40:54.914-07:00Our little "show off"<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Sweet little baby,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">We got to see you again yesterday. It was an exciting appointment! You were certainly showing off for us. As Dr. Laughlin pushed down on my belly to perform the ultrasound you jumped and wiggled around like crazy. Daddy was running a little late, because he had to go out of town yesterday morning, but he came into the room at the perfect time. Right as he walked in Dr Laughlin said "Hurry, hurry come here you've got to see your baby... he/she is showing off". You were kicking your little legs like crazy. Maybe you are practicing your karate moves, I don't know, but you have one fierce kick! Daddy and I just stared at you, and giggled. It is the best feeling to see you, and to know you are doing so well in there. Dr. Laughlin complimented you on doing so well... you are growing at a healthy rate, and progressing just perfectly. The short time we are in the office watching you, is when mommy feels the best. (It's the few minutes I don't worry about you.) It was sure hard to get you to stay still, but after a few seconds you cooperated and we could listen to your little heart beating! (Thank you). It got faster, and stronger since the last visit... you are up to 167 bpm. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's so amazing how loved you are already!! Everyone is so excited that you are on the way. Of course Mommy and Daddy couldn't be happier!! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Until the next time my little love... </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There are no words to describe,<br />
the feelings I have inside.<br />
Each new day is a magnificent one,<br />
and waiting for you,<br />
my daughter or son,<br />
is an emotional and intense time<br />
because a mother’s love is one of a kind.<br />
I am blessed to be waiting for your arrival.<br />
I promise, my little one,<br />
to be the best mom I know I can be.<br />
I will love you forever unconditionally!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">(This poem was written/submitted by Anabela Loureiro.)</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">One of my favorite conversations I've had so far regarding my pregnancy was with my 2 year old, precious goddaughter Payton Mae....</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "Payton, what do think about Gogi (what she calls me) and uncle Chris having a baby?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Payton (with excitement in her eyes and voice): "Gogi... A baby? In your belly?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Me: "Yes! A Baby is in my belly"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Payton (very matter of fact and excited): "Uhhhh! ME TOO!"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I wished I had gotten this on videotape, it gave me a good chuckle! It was as if she was going to tell me the same exact news that day! Even now as I see her she still talks about both of our babies in each of our tummy's. When I ask her what the genders are she exclaims "Boy, in your belly"... "Girl, in mine". Too cute! We will see if she's right in a few more weeks! </span>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-86244054897942544712011-10-04T16:50:00.000-07:002011-10-04T17:04:58.864-07:00Happy, Happy Day!!<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So... it's been awhile since I've posted anything. Have I kept you all waiting too long? Let me fill you in on what's new in the Bartoli home. About 4 months ago I FINALLY went in for initial infertility testing (blood work). The thought of it was much scarier than actually going in and getting it done. As I've mentioned before I am the "what if" kind of person. The actual task of getting blood drawn is no biggie for me... it's the waiting and thinking part that I am no good at. Anyways, it took a week to get results back, which was pure torture. Finally I got the call from the nurse practitioner, who was amazingly supportive and wonderful through this process. The nurse had me come in to go over the results and discuss what would be our next step. My heart pounded as she read me results, and explained each one thoroughly to me. Everything came back normal and healthy... my hormone levels were great, they checked to see if I was ovulating and I was, my body was overall very healthy and functioning just as it was supposed to be! Ah, relief... for a moment... I immediately wondered what would be next. She explained the next thing to do would be for Chris to go in and get a semen analysis. He was thrilled at the thought of that, as you can imagine. She explained that once we got those results, I would be scheduled for a HSG test (where they insert dye into you and look at your fallopian tubes, etc. by xray to look for any scarring or blockages). This procedure was more invasive and expensive than what we had been through so far, so she wanted all the basics covered first. So, I left the office that day overall feeling pretty good... I knew I was healthy. I knew my body was doing the things it needed to to get pregnant. I'd say it was a good day!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Lets see, it was a few weeks later we were going in for Chris to do the deed (semen analysis). It was a Saturday morning. I had this feeling that I should check the quest lab location, times and to make sure they would in fact be able to provide this "service". As I looked online I realized that they did not provide that "service". DARN IT!!! So, we decided that it would be put off a little longer, as the only location that would was in Salinas. Chris assured me he would go one day after work... and that was that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It was not too long after that, that I realized I was "late". I didn't pay much attention to that fact... been there done that. I tried to stay calm, relaxed, and not think about it. (Which is NEVER easy to do when you are trying to get pregnant!!). So after being a few days late I decided to take a home pregnancy test. I anxiously waited for those 3 whole minutes... there was one line, with the slightest (very faint) second line. Again, I didn't put too much thought or hope into it. I went on with my day, not really thinking about it that much. By the end of that week, I still hadn't gotten my period, and by now I had hope. I was trying not to let myself get worked up, but it was definitely there!! Chris and I had agreed I should wait through the weekend, and take another test on Monday. I was doing pretty good with this... until Friday rolled around. I woke up early, had to pee... saw the test sitting there, and thought ah, what the heck. (I was supposed to be leaving that evening for a bachelorette party, so in my defense I thought it would be better to know before the drinking festivities began). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You want to talk about the longest 3 minutes of my life... this was it! I got two lines... like, two DARK lines!! It was positive. I immediately started shaking, and crying. Although I had thought this was a great idea, I didn't think of what it'd be like if I actually got a positive result. Chris had left for work already, he had no idea I had decided to take the test. I was almost hysterical!! I called my mom and asked her to look at a photo I took on my cell phone of the tests to ensure I was not seeing things... she quickly replied "I see 2 lines". I called Chris, and we were both in disbelief. I agreed to go get more tests on my lunch break and take them throughout the day, and fill him in. Funny thing about being a preschool teacher is you don't have a lot of time for potty breaks, or privacy. This was by far one of the hardest days to make it through. I was excited, nervous, anxious all at once and desperately just wanted to be home with Chris.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I got off work that day Chris was already home. My sister was home from college, and I had filled her in on what was happening, so she came over. I immediately went into the bathroom, peed on the stick (this time I got digital tests that would read "YES" or "NO"), and waited, again. Chris, Kerry and I kind of huddled together waiting for 3 minutes to pass. I anxiously walked back in the bathroom and glanced with one eye squinted, nervous to read the results. It said "YES". I screamed "It says Yes! It says Yes!", and then we all screamed, and cried (happy tears of course). Needless to say I did not leave that night... I stayed home with Chris and we giggled, and smiled ALL night! It was such an amazing feeling to think we finally pulled this off... after all this time, after all the heartache, and fear.... we did it!! I took more tests the next week, to ensure our baby was still in there and got positive results every time. It was exciting every time!</span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokFudXAA0uIGm5GX8glT7IlDeza1lEA5fPBs8V-2ERp2312-ax0yfhY5X1GqD494-udJEM_MVJ1f-RZ3pjl2qqpOfe2f_UmCmiD1L-9mDFhSmEZwCBjwB3rLn3rhkf3TN2UQrcGyju-E_/s1600/DSCN5210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="150" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokFudXAA0uIGm5GX8glT7IlDeza1lEA5fPBs8V-2ERp2312-ax0yfhY5X1GqD494-udJEM_MVJ1f-RZ3pjl2qqpOfe2f_UmCmiD1L-9mDFhSmEZwCBjwB3rLn3rhkf3TN2UQrcGyju-E_/s200/DSCN5210.JPG" width="200" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2FP6d3Sg4VRGXFTWrVDyfS7U3L-boAtjVDkzZI9heW5oUJt97A46F4GTz6xot_xZdimmOBVXeTMOhcA3mjiqa3C_ClhHDC08N4miej7oZfE0dctmLxMWy-O9kndT78aw5eQteyr21nLLK/s1600/DSCN5206.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><img border="0" height="150" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2FP6d3Sg4VRGXFTWrVDyfS7U3L-boAtjVDkzZI9heW5oUJt97A46F4GTz6xot_xZdimmOBVXeTMOhcA3mjiqa3C_ClhHDC08N4miej7oZfE0dctmLxMWy-O9kndT78aw5eQteyr21nLLK/s200/DSCN5206.JPG" width="200" /></span></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I think until we went into our first appointment and actually saw the little "peanut", and heard it's heart beat it wasn't quite real to us. What a day that was. It was around 7 1/2 weeks when we first got a glimpse of our sweet little bundle. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. Tears streamed down my face as we watched pictures across the sonogram, and listened to the thudding of a tiny heartbeat. It was truly a happy, happy day!!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am now 10 1/2 weeks pregnant... and still overjoyed. Many people told me through this process "You will be thankful for all this time. It won't even matter, once you are pregnant". I never believed that, because my heart ached for two years... I thought that would stick with me forever... but it doesn't. I am not saying it was an easy road to get here, and that it wasn't discouraging most of the way, but it doesn't matter to me anymore. I know that Chris and I are going to be amazing parents, and that we will appreciate this whole pregnancy (sickness, fatigue, backaches and all) so much more. There will never be a day that I take for granted that my body can do this, and that in 6 and a half months I will be blessed with a sweet little baby. </span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As we venture into a new part of our journey, Chris and I would like to thank you for your love and support this far. I cannot express to you what all the kind and comforting words, letters, notes, silent hugs,tears and prayers of love have meant to us. We feel so blessed to have you all in our lives. We look forward to sharing this next part of our journey with you also.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">"Before you were conceived I wanted you Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would give my life for you. This is the miracle of life." ~ Maureen Hawkins</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To our sweet little baby,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">You are still so small, and fragile... but we love you more than any words could ever say. May you always know how loved you are, how special you are, and how wanted you are. Cannot wait until the next time we get to see you, and hear your tiny little heart beating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">All of your love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Your mommy and daddy <3</span>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-53192847411448251252011-04-27T13:59:00.000-07:002011-04-27T13:59:32.151-07:00A little love, goes a long way!!<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">First of all, Thank you all for reading our blog. I know I was a little nervous to put this "out there". My mind always goes to the "What ifs? and "What will the reaction be?" first, so I had to work up the courage and process the "outcomes" of pressing submit. I am SO happy I did it! Chris and I are so lucky. The sweet emails, messages and comments expressing your love and support have truly filled our hearts. We feel so blessed to have such strong and genuine bonds in our lives. </span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am not really sure if it's a direct effect of starting this blog, but I certainly feel "lighter". I was able to get the hurt out, and put words to a lot of what I've felt. I feel a sense of peace knowing I don't have to try to hide it anymore. It is what it is... and I am okay with that right now. Chris and I both are trying to really focus on the positives in our lives, and embrace all the good we are surrounded by. We feel stronger now. We often discuss the hardships a relationship can go through, and how it can truly "make or break" a couple. We feel so confident in our relationship, and the foundation we have built for our family. I Think that through this journey so far we have come to appreciate and respect each other in a whole new way. I know I can say Chris is the absolute love of my life. I am trying to never take us for granted, or the love and friendship we share. When a baby does come into our lives I also know how loved and wanted that child will feel. We will be sure that the importance of love, family and the support of a community run deep in that child's heart. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Again, thank you all for such a warm welcome into our journey... of blogging. We hold your kinds words close to our hearts!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">xoxo Kristen & Chris</span></span>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3164290841114084426.post-63178130350261272682011-04-09T10:49:00.000-07:002011-04-09T10:49:29.680-07:00Our Journey<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I can remember starting this “journey” as a newlywed, full of love, hope and pure excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of my life, even as a young child I knew I wanted to be a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve always found such joy in children… and now am a preschool teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never in my life have I wanted something so badly, and felt such tug and yearning in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember the day Chris and I came to the decision that we’d start trying for a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was elated, over the moon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little did I know this was going to be one of the hardest and most heartbreaking trials for Chris and I.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">We began trying for a baby in June 2009.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can recall my first few months of trying as pure excitement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent hours on end reading, researching and studying signs of fertility, ovulation and of course the earliest signs of pregnancy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was beginning to know more about my body than I ever knew possible or really ever wanted to know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day, every minute my thoughts were on getting pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d think about my so-called “fertile window”, and my cycle length, and then the dreaded “two week wait” wondering “Am I?”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting pregnant and holding a pregnancy consumed my every thought.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">December of 2009 (6 months into this journey.) I was sure I was pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My cycles were always within a “normal” length.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>28 to 30 days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few here and there were off by a day or 2, but never any noticeable amount of time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I was at day 40 and had no signs of my period coming… no cramps, not much bloating, the regular PMS symptoms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Needless to say, I had myself convinced that Chris and I’s “hard work” paid off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also had my best friend, who lived next door pretty convinced I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was about 5 months pregnant at the time, so I’d go over and tell her my “symptoms” and get her opinions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day was great, I was happy, hopeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">After about a week of being late I took a pregnancy test (actually it was probably more like 4 or 5 pregnancy tests).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The anticipation of seeing those 2 little lines was unbearable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, every test gave me the same results every time… BIG FAT NEGATIVE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Uh, this was my first glimpse of the sadness this experience can hold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Around day 45 I decided to go get a blood test done, I couldn’t not know anymore!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean the two week wait is awful, so why should I have to wait any longer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boy was I unprepared for this next part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Arriving at the Dr’s office was a bit nerve racking, but I still had so much hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean I had never had a cycle be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this</i> long, and I had read that on average most young and healthy couples will conceive a child in the first 6 to 12 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I filled out my paperwork, weighed, measured, and sat for what seemed like an eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, a middle aged woman came in and asked what I was there for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I filled her in on the details and told her my desire for an answer, and about the 4 or 5 (maybe more like 7 to 8) pregnancy tests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like that she shot me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She rudely said “If you have taken multiple tests without any positive results you are NOT pregnant.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She continued on with “I’ll order you a blood test, but I can guarantee you are not pregnant.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ouch! How could she guarantee that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t even do a urine test herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t even ask or say much more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After I caught my breath and my heart (that felt a quick twinge of pain from her “roughness”) I asked her to please order the blood tests.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I confidently added “You know, this whole missing a cycle thing is not normal for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my </i>body.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She replied to me with “You should see a fertility specialist at this point, something’s probably wrong.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not believe this woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did she have no sensor, no decency, no compassion?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could she not see the pain in my eyes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After that I just wanted to get out of there as fast as I could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to forget what she said, go back to my thoughts and re-convince myself I was pregnant, as she handed me the paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She added one more “jab” in as I was walking out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Do not call me for results until after 4:30, we don’t get them until then and I don’t want you calling in vain.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This sent me over the edge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left from there and headed directly to the lab.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted so badly to prove her wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to be able to call and say “hey remember me, the crazy woman who thought she was pregnant… well guess what, I am!”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">So, I even waited an extra 15 minutes or so… I called the Dr’s office for results at 4:45.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The nurse answered and told me the results were not received and to call the lab directly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did, and quickly got directed to another extension, and then back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turns out my paperwork was not “on file yet”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great! After speaking with 3 different people, it was obvious my results were not in and I’d have to continue to wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They told me to call the Drs Office at 9 am for results.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a long and worrisome night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lay in bed imagining getting a “yes, you are” and a “no, I’m sorry” the next morning at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thought of that alone scared me… it’s hard to hide your emotions from 2 and 3 year olds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They seem to pick up on everything.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">The next morning I arrived at work at 8:30, kids start filtering in around 9 (which was the time I was supposed to call).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Around 9:30 I got a phone call from an unknown number.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew it was the Drs Office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I excused myself from the classroom and nervously answered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a male Dr from the office.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Thank goodness it wasn’t the mean woman was all I could think).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He quickly asked me if I’d like my results.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I blurted out “of course”, as if I even needed to say so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He continued on, “I’m sorry, but the blood test came back with negative pregnancy results.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t hear much after the I’m sorry part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hung up, put on my “happy face”, even though my heart was heavy and went back to play dough and story time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Although I heard the results and my brain knew the truth, my heart still had hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all I still hadn’t gotten my period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s funny how the body works though, I think about 3 or 4 days after that phone call I got my period.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, that was just an evil trick my body played on me? Wow, that sure seems unfair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was an emotional day to say the least.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember crying to Chris in the kitchen, and we just held each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no hope to cling to anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart ached, I felt grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was nothing left to help me foolishly convince myself I was pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried, I sobbed… for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, even still thinking about it my heart feels heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let my heart be so emotionally involved and my hopes to be so high that I convinced myself of something that just wasn’t true.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">After that experience I feel I’ve changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate to admit it but I feel I am a more bitter and sad person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve spent so much time and effort into soul searching.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ask myself constantly “Why me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why isn’t it easy for us?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What did we do to deserve this?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sometimes feel so alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I’m not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have an amazing group of friends and family that love and support me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a wonderful husband who is right by my side, and is definitely the “rock” in our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is still hard for me to find the words to express my pain and heartbreak through this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout our lives we go to our friends and family members for advice, and empathy in certain situations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are situations that in most cases someone close can relate to, because they’ve “been there”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this case, I didn’t have someone close that had “been there”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like I didn’t relate to anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, I felt very alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is such a crazy thought because of all the love surrounding Chris and I.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">A few months came and went after that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My cycles returned to a predictable and regular length.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never really got any answers on why that happened besides “It’s very common to miss a period here and there.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My OB-GYN told me to wait a full year of TTC and then come in for some testing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, I tried to just not think about it so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all that’s what everyone tells you to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to take some of the pressure off myself, my husband, and the situation… this was no easy task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to not talk about it, not feel the emotions because I couldn’t stand to let myself get excited and let down over and over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was not a healthy choice for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shut down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to go out, and be social.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was easier to just kind of hide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chris and I did that for awhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of slowing the thoughts and the stress, I avoided it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bottled in emotions, I ignored (or tried to ignore) the sadness, and I isolated myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was my “easy escape”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hated crying through every conversation I tried to have about not being pregnant, so now I didn’t have to. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I kept hearing things about acupuncture. I heard, and read about all kinds of things people used acupuncture for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some related to infertility, some about pain, stress, sleep, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most all were positive stories, and were inspiring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I decided in March to try my luck with acupuncture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The initial appointment was scary. I had no idea what to expect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact for the first few times I think my acupuncturist could only pick up on my anxiety, and curiosity… but it got better each time. Tuesday evening became very important to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became my sanctuary, my “me time”. At each appointment I felt a calmness and peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved leaving each week with insight, and I began to really reflect upon myself and process my feelings surrounding infertility and our journey so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I cried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I was angry and frustrated and sometimes I was hopeful and positive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However I felt, I embraced it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day was different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt happy and distressed after each appointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Unfortunately about 5 months into this Chris and I fell onto hard times financially and I had to give up acupuncture, but I will go back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day, whether it’s for fertility, or just over all well being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly believe it helped me, spiritually and emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">I’ve gone to a support group that just started locally, which in the long run will be helpful I think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first meeting was very emotional for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I listened to stories of woman who are deeper in this journey than us I found myself scared, and saddened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a room full of heartache, and it stuck with me for a few days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was comforting to hear them talk about feeling alone, and resentful, and how they too secluded themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t crazy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My emotions are normal and valid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a right to feel sad, and angry, and frustrated sometimes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forward to learning with these other woman and for each of us to find comfort in each other’s stories.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Chris and I are still on this journey together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know in my heart someday we will be parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think we will be great parents. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day is a new day and we are hopeful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s still the typical “Infertile couple’s rollercoaster”, but it is what it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I chose to write this to clue some of you in what’s been going on for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every day is different, and sometimes it’s just too hard and painful to talk about, and other days I can let it all out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing’s always been the easiest way for me to share my feelings so here it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is our journey so far.</span></div>Kristen's Tutus & bowshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13937225300717612636noreply@blogger.com3