Showered with love...

Sweet Cohen,

This last weekend was our baby shower.  It was such a great day! So many people gathered to celebrate and shower mommy (and mostly you) with love, kindness and gifts. You wouldn't believe how amazing Grandma Stacie's house looked, adorned with baby blue decorations everywhere!  Even the punch we drank was blue.  There was the cutest dessert table set up with onesie, heart and "C" block cookies, a cake with your name on it, chocolate covered marshmallows and the sweetest cupcakes to be seen.  Auntie Kerry set out photos of mommy and daddy as babies, cute rubber duckies, a table that had all of mommy's cravings, and the cutest blue details throughout the house.  Auntie Liz made a diaper cake, which Kristen and Payton helped with I'm sure. The table was filled with all kinds of yummy snacks, and the house was filled with more love than you could ever know. It was perfect! Every detail!

We played some pretty silly games.  The ladies split into teams and created "baby Cohen's" using baby photos, crayons, glue and some got pretty creative with other "props".  Some of those babies were a little scary looking, and none could be as cute as you will be, but mommy had to choose her favorite.  We also had a "quiz" that mommy and daddy answered questions to.  It had questions like; What was a runner up name for Cohen? (Daddy answered; "Carston."  Mommy answered; "Graham").  What trait do you think your spouse will take on as a parent? (Daddy said; "Everything he'll need. She's the complete package. Mommy said; "He'll be fun, involved and a bit of a softy").  What do you want most for Cohen? (Daddy said "I want him to be HAPPY!", Mommy said "For him to be happy, healthy and always know how loved he is").  It was fun to hear the answers and what people thought we'd say.

You made out like a bandit when it came time to open gifts... you are so lucky!  I swear, you have more clothes than mommy (and daddy!).  Auntie Kerry made sure you'd always be the best dressed kid on the block!  She had a basket full of cute clothes, hats, shoes and accessories for you.  Grandma and grandpa Bartoli made sure you'd be riding in style (and safely!!) in your new carseat and stroller.  So many people made you the sweetest hand sewn quilts, burp rags, diaper changing pads, and even a boppy cover (I still can't believe Auntie Natty pulled that one off).  You have a basket filled with toys, and rattles and all kinds of fun bath towels and products.  I am pretty sure we've got enough diapers and wipes to last us awhile!  You're little corner has really come together.  Amy, Billy and Landon made the sweetest sign for mommy to hang above your changing table that reads; "You are my Sunshine".  Mommy fell in love with the sign!  I can't wait for you to see everything, and explore through all your goodies.

You know, it's funny, Mommy has been really good lately about keeping my emotions under wrap, but something came over me the morning of the shower.  It hit me how soon you'll be here.  I feel like I've waited a lifetime for this.  It wasn't the easiest "journey", it was heartbreaking and discouraging in the beginning, but I can honestly say that I would not change a single moment, experience or thing about it.  As we approach the "end" and near your birth I can reflect back on the whole experience, and I am filled with pure satisfaction, and overcome by the joy of knowing you were the one to come into daddy and I's lives.  The heartache only made this journey sweeter.  The discouaraging and unbearable moments made us stronger.  The hoplessness, and grief made us love and appreciate you all the more.  There will never be a day that goes by that I am not thankful to be your mommy.  I know that there will be hard days, and frustrating times, but you will always be the greatest gift to your daddy and I! 

The other day I stumbled upon this sweet little poem, and it completely took the words from my heart...

You are my I love you

Author: Maryann K Cusimano

I am your parent you are my child
I am your quiet place, you are my wild
I am your calm face, you are my giggle
I am your wait, you are my wiggle
I am your audience, you are my clown
I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down
I am your Carrot Sticks, you are my licorice
I am your dandelion, you are my first wish
I am your water wings, you are my deep
I am your open arms, you are my running leap
I am your way home, you are my new path
I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath
I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake
I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake
I am your finish line, you are my race
I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace
I am your favorite book, you are my new lines
I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine
I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo
I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you

Forever and ever. Love,

Mommy

 

 

 

 

10 weeks and counting...

Dear Cohen,

In one sense time seems to be flying by, yet in another moving so slowly.  Your daddy and I marvel at the thought that you will be here so soon, and are anxious as the days pass.  We are so ready to meet you!  We ponder on what you will look like (I think you'll look like daddy!), and what you will be like.  You are still so active in my tummy, I have a feeling daddy and I will have a mover on our hands.  Mommy has gotten pretty good at watching 2 am movies... that seems to be your most active time of the night, uh oh.  We have your little bassinet ready, your clothes and blankets washed and some snuggly little toys all anxiously awaiting your arrival.  I have asked daddy a few times now if he's feeling nervous at all, but everytime he just smiles and replies "No! I can't wait."  He's going to be such a good daddy, and already has plans for all the things you'll do together (which include lots of fishing, hunting and cabin trips).  Mommy, for the most part feels good.  You are definitely growing in there, so my tummy is getting heavy and sore, but you are so worth it!!  I wouldn't trade one single moment of this pregnancy for anything in the world.  I am so happy to be YOUR mommy.
I am excited as we approach the weekend and looking forward to a day of celebration, for you! Auntie Kerry and Grandma Stacie are throwing mommy a baby shower.  There will be so many people there who love you, and are just as excited to meet you as mommy and daddy.  We have already started to receive gifts for you from other family members who can't make it to the shower. They send their love to all of us, especially you.
We Love you Cohen.  We will be using these last few weeks to make sure that everything is just perfect for your arrival.  We want you stay in there and grow strong and healthy as long as you need... and when you are ready we will all be waiting to hug, kiss, and love you! 

With love,
Mommy and Daddy


This last weekend Auntie "Buddy" (Lacey) took pictures of mommy and daddy (and you) for us to cherish after you are here.  They turned out very cute, she did a really good job.

            Cohen Rigsby Bartoli

The beginning to a great year...

Another letter to our sweet baby boy,

It's hard to believe you have been cooking up for six months already!  You will be here before we know it, and daddy and I could not be more excited, anxious, and even a little nervous for your arrival.  It seems most of our conversations revolve around you.  We talk about our hopes and dreams for you, how our lives will forever be changed, and mostly how elated we are.  We discuss what it will be like to finally meet you, hold you and love on you.  I cannot wait!!  Daddy says "watch out, I may be a smother mother."
 We have cleared out a corner in the bedroom to make room for you, Cohen.  That was overwhelming!  Mommy had a breakdown, thinking of how we could possibly fit any more stuff into our tiny little house... but we did it, and it's very cozy and cute! Mommy made your name to put up on the wall, which turned out very sweet. Working at a preschool has come in quite handy... I have received clothes, blankets, and toys for you to last us awhile.  Your small little corner is beginning to take over.  Hey, at least you'll have plenty of cute outfits... and will always be stylin'.

We survived the holidays, and mommy's belly has really started to grow.  It is a definite baby bump now. Grammy and Papa bought you some very cute outfits for Christmas!  You even got your very first piggy bank and ten dollar bill to start your savings.  You aren't even here yet, and you are already getting spoiled!
 You sure are an active little guy!  Mommy feels you moving all the time.  I am not sure what you are doing in there, but you really get going!  (Maybe it's all the sweets; Oreos, candy and anything chocolate are your favorites).  You must be eating a lot, and growing big... mommy's appetite has increased tremendously!!  Everyone is amazed at how much you and I can "put down".  I tell them "Hey, he's a growing boy... gotta keep him fed!".  Lots of people have got to feel you kicking on the outside of my belly.  You gave daddy and auntie Kerry a few good kicks... they were both so excited to feel you moving around!  Daddy still likes to talk to you in mommys belly... sometimes that gets you moving too! It's pretty cute.

It's been really fun working at the preschool and hearing the children's reactions and comments to my growing belly.  Here are a few of my favorite conversations:

Louise: "Mrs Kristen your belly sure is growing big"
Me: "Yes, it is..."
Charlotte: "That's because she's growing a baby in there"
Me: "Yes, thats true. It's a baby boy!"
Charlotte: "Aw, that's a bummer... I dont really like boy babies."
(She has 2 big sisters... so I think it's more that she doesn't know much about "boy babies".  It gave me a good laugh)

Elise: "Mrs Kristen, your tummy is really getting big!"
Me: "I know, it is... the baby needs room to grow, so my tummy will get bigger and bigger."
Elise: "Ya, I know, that's what happened to my mom... Mrs Kristen, you might need to go to the hospital tonight."
Me: "Well, I hope not... this baby isnt due until April!"
Elise: "It's January, you have awhile... I sure hope you don't pop!"

I find myself watching the little boys play, imaging what it will be like when you are old enough to engage in activities they enjoy.  Trains, race cars, lego blocks and wrestling are in my near future... I feel it.  I cannot wait to crawl around on the floor with you, build tall towers, play spies and army, zoom race cars and build train tracks (or whatever else you want to do). 
Daddy and I both promised to love eachother, in good, bad and hard times... and we both make the same vow to you!!  You are our sweet baby boy (always, no matter how big you get) and we are so excited for you to join this family. 

21 weeks!! You were our favorite lil' Christmas package!

Mommy and daddy right before Christmas!

You were our little New Years Eve disco ball...

Daddy and mommy... so excited for all the love 2012 will bring!

We love you Cohen Rigsby xo

Let us introduce you to Cohen Rigsby Bartoli...

Exciting, exciting things going on in the Bartoli home!!  It's so funny, patience has never been a strong suit of mine, but the main lesson I've learned in this journey is "Patience is a virtue".  Over the past 2 years I cannot tell you how many times Chris and I heard "Things happen when and how they're supposed to", "Everything happens for a reason", and "Be patient, this too shall pass."  I knew all 3 of those sayings were true, but still... they were never what I wanted to hear!! When you want something that bad waiting doesn't seem bearable, no matter what the reasoning behind it is.  Well, I believe.... Everything does happen for a reason, and at the exact time it is meant to be!
Yesterday, I was scheduled for an OB check.  I was told I would get orders for a 3D scan to look in on Baby B, and make sure everything was healthy, and progressing just as it should be.  I was most eager to know if I was carrying a pink or blue bundle?! My birthday is wednesday and so I thought, "Perfect... I will get the paperwork, fax it over and get to find out on my birthday".  What a gift, right?  Wrong!! My appointment got canceled (without my knowledge), and I wasn't able to get another one until January 9th!! Kerry was with me at the appointment, and we both knew there was no way we could wait another 4 weeks to know.  (We had plotted for the past few days how we could convince the Dr to just take a quick peek and try to figure out the gender).  At first I was irritated, but then the a certain thought popped in my head "everything happens for a reason"... I decided (with a push from Kerry) to call a Sonographer I had heard about in Los Gatos.  I told him our dilemma, and how I was anxiously waiting to find out boy or girl, to which he replied "Well, I have an appointment at 4 today if you'd like it!".  Mind you it was 2:15 at this point, and Kerry and I were sitting outside the OB Dr's office in Monterey.  I looked at my sister and she said "We are going!!".  I told Lance (the AMAZING Sonographer) we'd be there.  Kerry quickly gathered up my parents, her fiance and of course Chris, and we all got on the road. Crazy, yes, but exactly how it was meant to be... I'd say yes to that too!  We all kind of giggled at ourselves on the way up, wondering are most pregnant women (and their families) this anxious to know?!  We placed our last minute bets... Chris and I stuck with blue, Kerry said pink.
We walked into the appointment with 2 minutes to spare.  It was a big room, with 2 TV screens to watch, and we were all anxious, and excited at this point.  We got right to it.  I am pretty sure Lance knew what the baby was as soon as he put the monitor on, but we all waited. He said "So, do you have names picked out?", "Cohen, for a boy.  Huntley, for a girl" I replied.  "Well I'd like to introduce you to your son, Cohen!!".  I immediately went into tears (as did grandpa Bruce, shh don't tell him I told you that). 
We watched in complete awe for 45 minutes as Lance showed us so many views of our little man.  I may be partial, but I think he is perfect in everyway!  Our little Cohen looked healthy, and was moving and showing off for us the whole time.  At one point he waved his little fingers at us, as if he were saying "Hi guys!".  We watched as he played with his little toes, stretched out his LONG legs, and rubbed his sweet little face.  It was truly an amazing experience.  I could've stayed there all night just watching my son.  It was so reassuring to look at all his organs, his bone structure, his little heart beating, and to know he is one healthy, growing boy! Chris and I are still on cloud nine, and are completely in love... I cannot even imagine how we will feel when he is born!

Again, we thank you for sharing in our journey... it makes it all the more special to share it with people who love and support us, and baby Cohen!!

                                               Profile View... His little fist up to his eye.

Look at those long legs!  daddy says "He's gonna be fast!!".  Mommy thinks the long legs look like daddy's, he even crosses them at the ankles like this when he sits!

4D Profile view.  Sweet little lips!

This is one of Mommy's favorites.  Cohen's little tiny foot.  You can even see his toes!

Looks like Cohen's smiling!!

Our Sweet Cohen Rigsby (It feels good to call you by your name!!),
We love you so much!  We could not be happier that you are ours. Thank you for giving mommy the sweetest, best ever birthday present... a little glimpse into your world!  I am starting to feel you kicking and moving inside me and it is the best feeling in the world! Keep on moving and shaking little man. Until we see you again, you fill our thoughts, dreams and hearts with more love than you could ever know!
With love,
Your mommy and daddy