Happy, Happy Day!!

So... it's been awhile since I've posted anything.  Have I kept you all waiting too long?  Let me fill you in on what's new in the Bartoli home.  About 4 months ago I FINALLY went in for initial infertility testing (blood work).  The thought of it was much scarier than actually going in and getting it done.  As I've mentioned before I am the "what if" kind of person.  The actual task of getting blood drawn is no biggie for me... it's the waiting and thinking part that I am no good at.  Anyways, it took a week to get results back, which was pure torture.  Finally I got the call from the nurse practitioner, who was amazingly supportive and wonderful through this process. The nurse had me come in to go over the results and discuss what would be our next step.   My heart pounded as she read me results, and explained each one thoroughly to me.  Everything came back normal and healthy... my hormone levels were great, they checked to see if I was ovulating and I was, my body was overall very healthy and functioning just as it was supposed to be! Ah, relief... for a moment... I immediately wondered what would be next.  She explained the next thing to do would be for Chris to go in and get a semen analysis.  He was thrilled at the thought of that, as you can imagine.  She explained that once we got those results, I would be scheduled for a HSG test (where they insert dye into you and look at your fallopian tubes, etc. by xray to look for any scarring or blockages).  This procedure was more invasive and expensive than what we had been through so far, so she wanted all the basics covered first. So, I left the office that day overall feeling pretty good... I knew I was healthy.  I knew my body was doing the things it needed to to get pregnant.  I'd say it was a good day!


Lets see, it was a few weeks later we were going in for Chris to do the deed (semen analysis).  It was a Saturday morning.  I had this feeling that I should check the quest lab location, times and to make sure they would in fact be able to provide this "service".  As I looked online I realized that they did not provide that "service".  DARN IT!!! So, we decided that it would be put off a little longer, as the only location that would was in Salinas.  Chris assured me he would go one day after work... and that was that.


It was not too long after that, that I realized I was "late".  I didn't pay much attention to that fact... been there done that.  I tried to stay calm, relaxed, and not think about it.  (Which is NEVER easy to do when you are trying to get pregnant!!).  So after being a few days late I decided to take a home pregnancy test.  I anxiously waited for those 3 whole minutes... there was one line, with the slightest (very faint) second line.  Again, I didn't put too much thought or hope into it.  I went on with my day, not really thinking about it that much.  By the end of that week, I still hadn't gotten my period, and by now I had hope.  I was trying not to let myself get worked up, but it was definitely there!! Chris and I had agreed I should wait through the weekend, and take another test on Monday.  I was doing pretty good with this... until Friday rolled around.  I woke up early, had to pee... saw the test sitting there, and thought ah, what the heck.  (I was supposed to be leaving that evening for a bachelorette party, so in my defense I thought it would be better to know before the drinking festivities began). 


You want to talk about the longest 3 minutes of my life... this was it! I got two lines... like, two DARK lines!!  It was positive.  I immediately started shaking, and crying.  Although I had thought this was a great idea, I didn't think of what it'd be like if I actually got a positive result.  Chris had left for work already, he had no idea I had decided to take the test.  I was almost hysterical!!  I called my mom and asked her to look at a photo I took on my cell phone of the tests to ensure I was not seeing things... she quickly replied "I see 2 lines".  I called Chris, and we were both in disbelief.  I agreed to go get more tests on my lunch break and take them throughout the day, and fill him in.  Funny thing about being a preschool teacher is you don't have a lot of time for potty breaks, or privacy.  This was by far one of the hardest days to make it through.  I was excited, nervous, anxious all at once and desperately just wanted to be home with Chris.

When I got off work that day Chris was already home.  My sister was home from college, and I had filled her in on what was happening, so she came over.  I immediately went into the bathroom, peed on the stick (this time I got digital tests that would read "YES" or "NO"), and waited, again.  Chris, Kerry and I kind of huddled together waiting for 3 minutes to pass.  I anxiously walked back in the bathroom and glanced with one eye squinted, nervous to read the results.  It said "YES".  I screamed "It says Yes! It says Yes!", and then we all screamed, and cried (happy tears of course).  Needless to say I did not leave that night... I stayed home with Chris and we giggled, and smiled ALL night! It was such an amazing feeling to think we finally pulled this off... after all this time, after all the heartache, and fear.... we did it!! I took more tests the next week, to ensure our baby was still in there and got positive results every time.  It was exciting every time!

I think until we went into our first appointment and actually saw the little "peanut", and heard it's heart beat it wasn't quite real to us.  What a day that was.  It was around 7 1/2 weeks when we first got a glimpse of our sweet little bundle.  It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.  Tears streamed down my face as we watched pictures across the sonogram, and listened to the thudding of a tiny heartbeat.  It was truly a happy, happy day!!

I am now 10 1/2 weeks pregnant... and still overjoyed.  Many people told me through this process "You will be thankful for all this time.  It won't even matter, once you are pregnant".  I never believed that, because my heart ached for two years... I thought that would stick with me forever... but it doesn't.  I am not saying it was an easy road to get here, and that it wasn't discouraging most of the way, but it doesn't matter to me anymore.  I know that Chris and I are going to be amazing parents, and that we will appreciate this whole pregnancy (sickness, fatigue, backaches and all) so much more.  There will never be a day that I take for granted that my body can do this, and that in 6 and a half months I will be blessed with a sweet little baby. 

As we venture into a new part of our journey, Chris and I would like to thank you for your love and support this far.  I cannot express to you what all the kind and comforting words, letters, notes, silent hugs,tears and prayers of love have meant to us.  We feel so blessed to have you all in our lives.  We look forward to sharing this next part of our journey with you also.




"Before you were conceived I wanted you Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here an hour I would give my life for you. This is the miracle of life." ~ Maureen Hawkins


To our sweet little baby,
You are still so small, and fragile... but we love you more than any words could ever say.  May you always know how loved you are, how special you are, and how wanted you are.  Cannot wait until the next time we get to see you, and hear your tiny little heart beating.
All of your love,
Your mommy and daddy <3